One of the more common questions men ask in preparation for a first date is ‘what should I talk about?’ The answer: her. It’s a fairly simple concept and once you get the hang of basic conversation threading and leading, you’ll never have an awkward moment again. Because it’s a social skillset, don’t expect to be a master right away; some practice is required. Fortunately it’s a very small learning curve.
Go on enough dates and you’ll realize exactly how mechanical it can be, how most conversations have the same beginning, middle, and end, with slight variations based on personal experience. I talked about dates you should and shouldn’t go on, so let’s assume you’re grabbing drinks at the local watering hole.
Upon meeting, an enthusiastic ‘hi, how are you’ and a nice bear hug gets the ball rolling and sets the comfort stage. As you make your way to wherever, ask her about her day and what she did. It’s 100% guaranteed that there’s enough info here to begin threading. The conversation can be about anything and on-the-fly adjustments are simple:
How was your day?
It was ok, my dog is feeling sick so I had to get off work to take him to the vet.
What kind of dog do you have?
It’s a Maltipoo.
That’s cute, so you like animals?
Yea, my dad got him for my birthday.
Your dad must love you, are you close with your family?
At this point her mouth will be approaching 100 mph as she talks about her relationship with her father (look at you, already fishing for red flags), her family, her friends, and on and on until you can barely get a word in edgewise. This is what you want and here’s why:
- She’ll feel like you ‘get her’. Everyone’s favorite subject is themselves and they feel more connected to people who listen. Remember: the ego is the most powerful force in the universe. You’ve felt the effects when someone listened to you in the past.
- She’ll quickly become comfortable with you. Once you start opening up you feel as if you’ve made a friend, even if the other person is mentally undressing you. It just feels good to vent about your life. Talk is a woman’s prerogative anyway (action is a man’s), so indulge her. Lower shields = lower inhibitions = more connection = seduction can proceed easy peasy.
- You’ll never have an awkward moment. Conversation threading is so straightforward that you’ll always have something to latch onto. Eventually you may even be tuning out most of the noise until you hear an interesting phrase revealing something about her you want to know more about, at which point feel free to interrupt her mid sentence and go in your chosen direction. Women are exceptionally good at multi-threaded conversations, so she’ll keep up. Occasionally you’ll go on a date with a girl who doesn’t talk much. If that’s the case, you’ll have to take over and be more physical. Note: this is an exception and the truly quiet girls aren’t much fun anyway, so don’t feel bad if you’re not ‘clicking’.
- You remain mysterious. With only so much time to talk, she’ll be spilling her life story to you and loving every minute of it. When she asks you a question, answer and expand if you like (you do need to reveal some things about yourself), but keep it somewhat vague, short, and finish off with another question about her. Leading the conversation is easier than most guys think, and is a precursor to leading her to the bedroom (or back seat).
- You don’t have to be a great conversationalist. Corollary to the above, if you’re not the most eloquent person on Earth, it’s ok. You won’t be talking much anyway, meaning less chances to say something stupid.
- You don’t have to worry about telling elaborate stories. I remember reading some dating material years ago about NLP, cute little palm reading, DHV through exaggerated (and often made up) stories about how fun your life is, and so on. Why bother? It’s totally unnecessary. She doesn’t care about you anyway – all attention on her.
- You gather valuable information. It’s a little awkward to ask ‘does your dad love you? Did he abuse you? Do you have a history of drug use? Are you psycho?’ With a little practice however you can get answers to all these questions without directly asking – if you want them, that is. As a result, you can calculate if she’s DTF, good for a few nights, potential for dating, or if you should run for the hills.
- It’s a perfect opportunity to kino. While she’s talking and you’re nodding, smiling, and mmhmming, your hands are getting a little freaky. There’s no quicker way to physically connect with a woman than to … physically connect with her. This is why a big hug at the beginning is so important: it breaks up any pre-date tension she (and you) may have. As the night is progressing, kino escalation is a must. If you haven’t at least brushed hands or touched her back or legs or something, chances are you’re not getting laid.
Next time you meet a girl, ask about her and thread your conversations. Feel free to share some of your examples below.