After years of deliberate personal development and a hard, long (but fun) journey to red pill awareness and integration, I carved out several philosophies. If you have a code – a few core concepts – that you abide by, everyday decisions become simple. These are different for everyone and may take months, years, or even decades of soul searching to discover. Today I’m going to share mine; there are only 3.
1. Obey the Golden Rule. Karma, treating others how you want to be treated, whatever you want to call it. The first thing that comes to mind in matters of love is cheating. Don’t. If you’re not willing to commit to a single woman (and most men shouldn’t until they’ve established themselves and matured), suck it up and play the numbers. Depending on your value vs. hers and your dependence on each other, you may be able to extend non-exclusive casual dating relationships beyond the typical 2-3 month mark. In general though, girls with options (attractive ones) usually won’t stick around long. Such is the game.
Get used to losing girls – even good ones from time to time – if you’re not 100% sure that you won’t give up your sexual mating strategy (extensity) in favor of hers (intensity). Who cheats more is debatable, but if you’ve been around long enough to see the cogs in the machine it shouldn’t come as a surprise that female infidelity far outweighs male. However, tarnishing your reputation this way just isn’t worth it in the long run. Better to be labeled a ‘player’ and wear it proud than a socially ostracized cheater.
This concept applies in all aspects of life. That’s not to say you should be a pushover, nice to everyone, or that bad things won’t happen to you, but if you consciously, purposely screw people over don’t be shocked if it comes full circle. Most importantly, the pangs of regret for willfully wronging others linger, and that’s not something you want on your conscience.
Abiding by the Golden Rule and avoiding the negative is fairly simple. If there are people in your life who bring you down or mistreat you, cut them loose – ruthlessly and immediately.
2. People will do what they want anyway. If you want something bad enough, you’ll find a way, so there’s no point in trying to control others. One of the most beta qualities I witness daily is an extreme form of mate guarding, or ‘the controlling boyfriend’. It works to a degree, but it’s doomed to fail and when it does, you’ve wasted invaluable time, never to return. If a girl you’re with crosses the line (say kissing another guy), dump her on the spot.
Better yet, focus on yourself and become the best you can be. The resulting confidence can’t be hid – it radiates and everyone senses it. It took me a while to see it in action, but the past few years girls have been walking on eggshells around me more and more. One little misstep (like a cancelled date), I instinctively instill dread, and she quickly course corrects. When this happens naturally without you saying a word, you begin to see how much influence you have on the world.
Worry about yourself and let others worry about themselves. Remain steadfast and you’ll attract exactly the kind of people you want in life – those with similar interests and outlook. Your relationships with women will be a lot less dramatic because you’ll screen out the queens at the onset, often without realizing it.
3. Everything ends, so appreciate what you have. Not to sound morbid, but we are all born and die alone. Barring a Notebook rerun, you won’t ‘fall asleep in each other’s arms’. The real life version is a 50 year
hell marriage, divorce, ensuing identity crisis from investing your entire adult life in another person, and premature death or suicide.
By all means love, but be prepared to lose. It’s a natural fact of life. Enjoy your time with the object(s) of your affection, get the most out of it, and cherish each moment. When it’s time to move on, take a deep breath, thank whoever you believe in for the experience, and keep going. Some of my best, most memorable, warm relationships have been short-lived for a number of irrelevant reasons. What’s important is to be able to look back and smile at the good times.
Be practical. Be passionate.
The take-home from these philosophies is such: guard your heart and give it for a price, but don’t grow cold. Life is meant to be lived passionately. Find your calling, pursue it relentlessly, and love the women who come and go. Not in the ‘princess who can do no wrong’ way, but how Man was made to love Woman – stern yet kind.