Category Archives: Biomechanics

Never Forget – Men Are Expendable, Women Are Perishable

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titanic-rose-jack

How you think the world should be and how you imagine yourself to be is one thing – reality is another. We are biologically hardwired before birth to accept the higher ‘life value’ of women and this is reflected in everyday actions. You’ve done it yourself. How many times have you made little gestures like opening the door, stepping in the mud to keep her dry, giving her the bigger piece of whatever, and so on? And these are minor actions. Men are quick to protect – nay sacrifice their own well-being – to make sure she’s alright. They’ll give their life for a woman. It’s nature putting her on a pedestal and it’s not going anywhere.

This isn’t meant to be positive or negative, just matter-of-fact. As a man, you’ll always have to work harder. You’ll always be guilty until proven innocent. And you’ll always – on some level – be worth ‘less’ all else being equal. That sounds like a shitty existence, so how do you rise above? By rising above. By playing it smart. By realizing that you were, are, and always will be expendable. Maybe not to your friends, family, or lover(s), but to society at large. And so you act accordingly.

Understand this – women inherently believe you’re worth less. Other men would kill you if given a free pass (less competition) and if they thought it possible. In a politically correct (but not really) world, this violent human nature takes on more passive-aggressive forms, but don’t think for a moment that we’ve evolved beyond our basic programming.

Barring some exceptions (trust fund babies), nothing will ever be given to you. You have to take it, by hook or by crook. Every minute you waste bemoaning the lack of sexy women in your life, your pudgy physique, your bank account, your social awkwardness, and your invisibility to the world is a minute someone else is working on it and taking the necessary steps – however tough they may be – to rise above and become a higher value man, one who goes home with the lion’s share.

Accept the facts, stop complaining, go work on yourself and reap the rewards – there’s no time to waste.

The Look Test As A Measure Of Authority

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The next time you’re out, attempt to observe social interactions in greater detail than usual. You might witness a subtle yet paramount group behavior: attention shifts to those in power. It goes by many names – herd mentality, monkey see monkey do, social proof – but is often overlooked. The obvious manifestation is people turning their heads when a group member speaks (loudly enough). However, a more delicate version of this is everywhere and can be used to your advantage, along with measuring your own relative authority in a particular environment.

The Look Test

When I’m out with people I’m usually ‘the quiet one’. I talk – and noticeably more after a few drinks – but I hold myself back from babbling. Instead I prefer to observe and analyze (it’s how my mind works). When I do open my mouth I immediately grab most attention, mainly due to the contrast with being otherwise laconic. However, what I’ve noticed as of late is when someone else is talking, any girls in my vicinity give them attention (or don’t) based on my actions. If I look at the person, they look too. If I ignore them, they may sometimes listen but appear uninterested.

Occasionally my date and I will be enjoying a moment of silence when an incident vies for attention. If I ignore it, she does the same, or briefly diverts before returning. If I give it precedence, she’ll look as well. This works predictably – to varying degrees – in any environment.

So what’s the big deal?

First, it’s an indirect yardstick of dominance. The amount and duration of attention you are capable of garnering is directly proportional to your authority in a given environment. Even when the attention is withdrawn, if you can bring it back with a figurative snap of your fingers, you hold the cards. This isn’t a pass to be loud and obnoxious (remember – less is more), but you should have the capacity to round people up despite their current focus. If you don’t, your influence in the given setting is low. Awareness of this dynamic will help you strategize along with providing an honest assessment of your current state.

Second, it can be used as a covert means to destroy the competition. We give less attention to that which others pay no attention to and vice versa. This is further amplified by your current ‘worth’ vs. the other person’s. Let’s say you’re out at a bar and engaging a group of girls. Another guy is competing for their attention. If he’s a total joke by comparison, you’ll look better by giving him attention in jest. On the other hand, if he’s got some game and could be competitive, you’re better off ignoring him altogether (or if it’s socially required to acknowledge presence, do the minimum).

It’s a finer point of social interactions so I urge you not to dwell on it, as there are more fundamental and overt things most guys need to learn first, but the devil is in the details so pay attention nonetheless.

Objectification, Shortcuts, And Love

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In the midst of figuring out different ways to get yours, the basics are often forgotten or at least conveniently ignored. It’s time to refresh how each sex views each other.

Woman = sex object.

Man = success object.

Obvious right? But how often we stray from this basic premise, complicating the simple elegance of what is.

The Sex Object

A woman’s primary, and only real form of power in this world is her beauty (and by extension, youth). So long as we remain human, this will never change. No amount of college degrees, high status positions, undeserved salaries, feminist outbursts, ‘equality’ laws, shaming tactics, cougars, or any other form of brainwashing can overcome what we see with our eyes.

Naturally men seek secondary traits for commitment such as loyalty, modesty, femininity (‘girliness’), some degree of intelligence, lack of pre-existing children, and so on, but without an acceptable level of beauty – what that man thinks he’s capable of attaining – none of this comes into consideration.

If you’re fat and ugly, men don’t want you. Period. You may still get some and delude yourself into believing otherwise, but you’ll never, ever, have the kind of man you desire because you’re not the kind of woman he desires. You can’t force someone to be attracted to you, no matter how nice, loyal, funny, whatever you happen to be. It’s a shame that western civilization is ballooning at such an exponential rate; these women have no chance at happiness, which they won’t realize until it’s too late. Or spend their entire lives keeping nasty thoughts locked up.

Ladies – even if you get the short stick (unattractive face), you’re not completely SOL. Not most of you anyway. Forget the promise of independence and ‘getting whatever you want’ through corporate ascension. We don’t care. Your accomplishments are only impressive if you’re hot. Keep climbing and you’ll find nothing but misery and bitterness at the apex when you realize that men are indifferent to your socioeconomic success.

Maintain a slim figure, use makeup wisely, save a few bucks to have some work done, develop an amicable personality, and secure what you reasonably believe to be the best you can get before you’re too old to compete with the next wave of nubile youngsters. It’s asking a lot, I know, but it’ll do more for you than years of ‘doing what you have to’ to move up.

The Success Object

A man’s form of power is more dispersed. The 5 main traits of alpha – wealth, status, looks, fame, game – are under greater personal control. However, it’s equalized with a woman’s narrower scope of power due to the biological value of egg (expensive) vs. sperm (cheap). Men are expendable. We fight from the day we’re born. Most of us start with nothing and have to beat out the rest to ascend. The poon waiting at the top is the prize for years – nay decades – of self sacrifice.

While it’s true that modern women at various stages of their lives are ‘attracted’ to different things as conditions necessitate, it’s nothing more than preferential weighing of the 5 traits. A 6 pack and big arms works on all women, but younger girls in their prime are more likely to act upon these urges than single moms on the other side of 30, who all of a sudden become more practical.

Still, a spreading of the legs is directly proportional to your success in these 5 areas. A good looking, ripped, rich, high status man who’s not socially awkward will be passed around town in a hurry.

If you’re unsuccessful, hot women don’t want you – they can do better. And let’s not use lower rung examples as anything other than what they are: exceptions, particularly when you look at the big picture. Drug dealers in the hood with no real prospects can get some through game, local status, and throwing a bit of money around (along with supplying the product), but they’ll never swim in the top gene pool with any regularity.

Men – I talk over and over and over until I want to puke about self improvement, not only for your own sake but as a ‘passive’ means of attracting women. It’s a win-win. Learn game – the attitudinal shift is a mandatory mindset for the challenges of life – but see it for what it is: a single piece of the puzzle. Hit the gym, get your body right. You can’t do much about your face, but groom well. Get some clothes that fit you and stay away from Walmart. Learn how to save money. Building true wealth is a lifelong process, so get started now. Whatever craft you choose, excel in it. Become the top dog. The local status may one day transform into broader fame. Do this relentlessly, consistently, day in and day out for years on end and you will reap the benefits.

Shortcuts

In any competitive market, it’s natural to seek the path of least resistance, especially with greater competition. Beyond the obvious (makeup and augmentation for women, game for men, and lying for both), shortcuts abound daily. They’re primarily passive aggressive attempts at swinging control of the sexual market into the favor of the aggressor. Shaming is #1. ‘Men are shallow’. ‘Women only care about my wallet’. I say attempts because they’re only temporarily able to circumvent the harsh truth: there are no lasting shortcuts. Reaching the top – and staying there – is a constant battle for both sexes.

Women have to beat out other women, lamenting that the men they really want – the super alphas – will never settle for just one (not for long anyway) because they don’t have to. Given the realistic choice of one hot woman or several, men will take the latter.

Men have to beat out other men to get to the top, lamenting that women get their cake and eat it too while guys in their formative years go crazy with blue balls and often self destruct before screwing their heads on right and realizing their time will come, if only they focus on longer lasting success.

No one has it easy, not forever.

Love

And so we come to ‘love’, the ultimate weapon in the battle for sexual supremacy. Does love conquer all? Hardly.

How many women are ‘in love’ with their man only to leave him once he loses his job and a convenient upgrade appears?

How many men are ‘in love’ with their woman until she ages and porks out only to leave (or cheat) when a younger, hotter, tighter prospect dangles some T&A?

Discussion of love is a series of posts in its own, but don’t be fooled by emotions and declarations of feelings. While they may be genuine, the sex/success law never falters. Follow it and you’ll find happiness. Ignore it and you’ll be miserable. Simple enough?

The Age Crisis And Disappointment

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I don’t particularly envy attractive women. Their lives burn bright, but the flame is quickly extinguished. A hot chick in her early 20′s is on top of the world in a way most men will never experience. But it comes with a price: once the years of celebrity are over, the very real feelings of a power decline (the ability to extract attention and resources from men) build with each passing winter. Men experience the opposite if they seriously focus on achievement, so it’s hard to imagine the torture.

Still, it’s a little sad. All the cosmetics, plastic surgery, and push up bras in the world can’t bring back the glory days.

I felt a tinge of this with girl #44, a single mom on the verge of 30 looking to shack up sooner than later. That ‘relationship’ lasted a whole month. More recently, I discovered traces of the same with girl #54 (ironically she was the one I bailed on that night to hang with #44). We’ve been seeing each other with some regularity for almost 2 months now and she’s one of the sweeter girls I’ve known, I dare say even girlfriend material. The sex is phenomenal (scientifically based on hardness and ejaculation amount/distance) and we get along great, but …

I feel disappointed because I know other guys had her when she was younger, hotter, more adventurous, and arguably more fun.

This is what you, as a man, have to come to terms with when seeing older (25 and up) girls. There’s no way around it except to date ‘fresher’ specimens (18-21). It’s a subtle feeling – one that’s easily repressed – but it never quite goes away. Nature doesn’t lie.

No matter how hot, how sweet, how reformed, how great of a person she may now be, the simple fact is that she was – or was at least capable of being – all of this and them some for someone else. Someone had the best of her from a biological standpoint.

The older the woman, the less subtle this feeling. The ultimate manifestation is commitment to single moms. That’s a slap in the face every time you see another man’s spawn. It’s not to say you shouldn’t date girls on the other side of their prime, but realize that a hint of disappointment is natural and won’t go away. You’ll never feel you hit the jackpot.

However, there is a benefit to this: you can use it for proper relationship framing. Women are well aware of their younger competition, and knowing that unspoiled hotties await plundering (possibly by you) will help you dismiss her petty bickering. Your value is rising, hers is declining. It’s a good time to be a man.

Lastly, it should motivate you to become the best you can so you can tag/girlfriend/knock up youngins well into old age. Who says you can’t?

Options, Instability, And Monkey Branching

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This thread over at the Bodybuilding.com forums reminded me to write about a topic I’ve been mulling over for some time: monkey branching. For women, this is better known as the default sexual selection strategy hypergamy. Others call it trading up. For men, it’s just another day. The concept is by no means limited to dating; it’s the deciding factor in every choice we make, every day of our lives.

Options = instability. This is a law, there’s no way around it.

First, some definitions:

Options – realistic, tangible, right-here-right-now scenarios. Do you have multiple, concurrent job offers? Do you have a variety of cereal to choose from? Do you have multiple women inquiring about your weekend plans? If the answer is ‘no, but I could if I really wanted’, then you don’t have options. It’s possible, of course, to fudge it and present yourself as having these options – and convince others in the process – but in order for monkey branching to take full swing the options must exist.

Instability – difficulty selecting an option or attempting to sample as many as possible, either simultaneously or chronologically (with possible overlap). Men and women alike with few options often boast taking a higher moral ground of strict monogamy as an ego preservation mechanism. In most cases they don’t have many (any?) equal-or-better options at their disposal, so instability doesn’t enter the picture.

Monkey branching – the specific strategy, typically employed by women more so than men (at least in the dating realm) as a means of sampling options chronologically, with the ultimate goal of trading up each time. Men do this too, as there are plenty of serial monogamists in the world, but to a lesser degree since most have less options than women due to the biological inequality between egg and sperm.

To illustrate how monkey branching works, let’s use candy, because everyone loves candy. As you read, try to draw parallels between choosing tasty treats and who you sleep with.

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A little boy lived in a small village. His parents didn’t have much, so he only had one type of candy, and only on holidays. It was sweet, made his mouth water, and was quite the treat. As time passed fortune smiled on the family and he was able to eat all the candy he wanted, provided he finished the spinach. It still tasted good, but he was troubled that the prospect of dessert no longer excited him. It wasn’t the only piece – he had an entire box, enough for a year.

One day a traveling salesman from the city came by on business. He happened to have a sweet tooth and always carried treats. With enough begging, the little boy walked away with a small bag. He couldn’t wait to get home before trying them all. The candy he had for years no longer tasted as good and he spent the next few days deciding which new one was to become his favorite. When the bag ran out, he longed for his old box, remembering what it was like and content knowing it’s still there, but something was amiss. He was spoiled. There must be more out there?

So the little boy did every chore he could and saved every penny of his allowance. Soon he had enough to catch the bus and visit the city. It didn’t take long to find a candy store, and upon entering he was mesmerized by all the options. Hundreds! Far as the eye could see! He bought bags of everything he could and happily raced home.

He spent the next year sampling them all, picking favorites, and leaving the less enjoyable ones for last. He developed a taste for the kind he liked, those just ‘ok’, and the downright disgusting. The next time he went to the candy store, he knew exactly what to buy. He also got smaller bags of the latest flavors in case they should become his new favorites.

Meanwhile, his old box sat collecting dust, forgotten and waiting for the day when he would run out of all the other candy. But he never did.

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A person’s stability in relationships, as with anything else in life, depends entirely on the availability of options and the degree of difference between the current and the prospects. If you only have a handful of candy to choose from, you might stick with the original, especially if the others are at risk of being discontinued. But with 100 at your disposal and new flavors introduced monthly, you’re going to try. Yes you will.

Fairly attractive female reader aristomeow made some interesting points, so let’s take a quick look.

The worst thing about monkey branching is the effects it has on YOU as a person.

If you treat enough people as expendable, replaceable, how are you going to exit that mindset when someone worthwhile comes along? You will not be able to form any deep or meaningful connections with people, not because of something THEY’VE done, but because you’re so used to treating people like they don’t mean anything.

Desensitization is a potential downside as much as a potential upside. Spending enough time without committing to anyone (emotionally) will bring about a degree of cynicism, but you’ll also become discriminant in who you spend your time with. The hope, then, is that when someone worthwhile comes along, you’ll have the wherewithal to recognize this worth and invest accordingly.

But if you are constantly looking at all your options, and your attention is divided so, then how can you figure out who is worthwhile if you’re not really giving them a chance?

Ah, but you are giving them a chance – a relatively brief audition to gauge further time investment. When you try candy, you know if you like it or not, either right away or after a couple pieces, but you don’t have to eat the whole bag to find out.

But after a while, your favorites will get boring, and new candies will become available on the market and you’ll be too tempted to try those.

Maybe, maybe not. There’s no simple answer as it depends, once again, on the availability of current options, the degree of difference between options, and long term repercussions. For women approaching the wall and dealing with a closing fertility window, options are shrinking by virtue of time. They may be tempted to try new candies as they become available (and many sneak in a couple bites on the side), but an all-out dessert binge is no longer pragmatic. Similarly, men in sexless marriages constantly teased by the hot office secretary have to weigh a night of reckless abandon vs. the possibility of divorce, indentured servitude, potential imprisonment, and never seeing their children again.

Everyone wants to have their cake and eat it too (have maximum available options), and so we improve ourselves to improve our prospects. It’s the human version of survival of the fittest.