A few months ago I wrote about Facebook photo structuring for maximum pickup success. FB game is its own animal and relies heavily on real life social proof. Fortunately, much like a ‘fake it til you make it’ approach works in everyday environments, becoming pseudo-famous on FB requires a similar approach. Reader feedback generated some valid questions, so here are some additional game tips in no particular order:

1. Pics with girls can send off a player vibe – is this bad? Definitely not. The game is a numbers game and while you can’t catch them all, you want to attract the majority and repel the minority. The pros gained from verifiable social proof (cute girls tagged in your photos) far outweigh the cons of being labeled a ‘player’ by a few prudes. Preselection trumps all – women want who other women want. It’s also important to stay congruent with your goals. If you just want to bang a bunch of hot chicks, there’s no reason to hide it. You don’t overtly say it of course, but your actions – manifest in the photos you post – will speak for themselves.
2. How do you structure messages? Typical messages are ‘hey’, ‘what’s up’, ‘how are you’, or some combination thereof, i.e. ‘hey how are you’. In my experience this is sufficient. A witty line or some attempt at circumventing a boring message in order to initiate a conversation often does more harm than good. If a girl accepts your friend request, checks out your profile, and likes what she sees, she’ll respond. If she doesn’t, it’s not the content of your message – she’s just not interested. When women open me (sadly they’re not all supermodels), they often say the exact same things, so keep it simple. You can then ask what she’s up to, where she goes out, what she does for fun – basically anything to begin threading.
3. Should you ever ‘like’ pics/status updates? ‘Likes’ are to be used sparingly. In general, I only ‘like’ a photo or status if a) that girl and I have some history and b) we haven’t talked in a while and I want her to think about me again. Occasionally I’ll ‘like’ an update of a girl I’m dating to let her know I’m thinking about her, but this gets into a bit of relationship management. The general rule of thumb is: if a pretty girl posts a bunch of pictures regularly for attention and gets tons of ‘likes’ as is, she doesn’t need yours. Don’t be another orbiter.
4. What kind of comments should you make (if any)? Comments are your bread and butter. This is your chance to flex your social bicep and post backhanded compliments, negs as necessary, puns, and generally set yourself apart from the others. Don’t become a ‘regular’ on any girl’s wall, but practice your social skills randomly. Even then it’s still time consuming and I typically only comment in response to my own status updates. This sets the frame – if you come post on my wall, I’ll reply, otherwise you won’t get any attention from me.
5. What do you do when dating multiple girls on FB? With enough effort you’re likely to begin banging casually dating several girls – all of whom are Facebook friends with you. This can start some serious drama, so it’s best to avoid posting additional photos of you and other girls 1-on-1 once it begins. By all means post group photos (let’s say a couple cute girls with their arms around you, with whom you’re platonic), but be careful about what you put out in the open once sex is involved. A girl I’ve been dating non-exclusively for a few months now has questioned me multiple times about 1 photo with me and a couple girls I know. Women get crazy jealous. You want a little jealous, not crazy jealous.
6. What kind of status updates should I post? That’s up to you, but I urge you to avoid posting completely useless crap. DO NOT post any of the following: memes, pics of food, pics of alcoholic beverages, what music you’re listening to, anything with a hashtag (#), any kind of angry/depressed updates, and most importantly do not post when you’ve been drinking. DO post anything that raises your value. I usually post once a day to get some major ‘likes’ (it’s retarded but it makes you look important). Got a sick new car? Post pics. On a killer vacation? Post pics. Have some ‘revelation of the day’ that happens to be a universal truth? Post it. Have a fun night feeling like a king surrounded by groupies? Post, post, post.

Whatever you do, realize that Facebook, just like Plenty Of Fish, Tinder, Twitter, OkCupid, and other websites are major buffers. Treat them as additional tools in conjunction with ‘real life’ approaching, but they are not replacements. More often than not they end up being major distractions. Online game misses the finesse of presentation, body language, on the spot decision making, social skills, and so on. For the most part, I recommend a ‘set and forget’ approach. You can send a few messages from time to time and show interest in whatever way is appropriate for that platform, but if you spend more than 15 minutes/day doing it, you’re wasting time.

Feel free to contact me if you have additional questions.

Facebook game is unique in several ways. If used correctly, it allows you to create a celebrity persona of yourself over time and bestows all sorts of hedonistic benefits. Today we’ll be looking at one of several facets – your photos.

As with all manner of art and photography, less is more.

Despite your initial assessment of what constitutes ‘Facebook success’, having thousands of nearly identical photos is pointless. Girls do this of course, but we follow a different set of rules (and whether having a library of drunken photos is beneficial or not is questionable even for them). People have short attention spans. Very short. So when a girl looks at your photos, she wants to see a story and make some (favorable) snap judgments in as little time as possible. Much like putting up shots on a dating site, you want to display your best and only your best, considering that you’re in direct competition with countless others.

With that in mind and in no particular order, here’s a list of tips:

1. Keep your photo count low. After several years of having an active profile, I still only have ~100 photos. You want to display variety, but not overdo it. If you’re at an event, on vacation, out at a bar, etc, and happen to come home with 20 shots, select 2-3 which display you the best. If none are that great, leave them out altogether. You’re not obligated to showcase your entire life; only the highlights. As an example, I had a good 30 photos from a sick LA vip club party, but decided to take them all down. While I did have some social proof pics, ultimately they were too dispersed and not enough attention on me. Make no mistake, Facebook is the ultimate in narcissism. Think of it as a modeling portfolio: you only have so many opportunities to display your talent.
2. Only use the best photos. Corollary to the above, be extremely critical of which photos you put up. Angles, lighting, composition, but most importantly: context. Let’s say you’re out at a club with friends and someone is in paparazzi mode. You have 3 shots to choose from: A) sideways with your hands on some girl as she’s grinding you, B) toasting with posse where you’re off to the side, C) photobomb with you in the middle. Answer: C, but try not to look too stupid.
3. Tell a story. This will happen over time, but if you have hobbies or take regular trips to certain locales, document it. You’re promoting your life in a matter of seconds, so if all you have is pics of your inebriated friends from high school at the same dive bar, you’re not going to come off as very adventurous. That’s not to say you should do things just for the sake of doing them, but as long as your hobbies don’t revolve around Cheetos and WoW, showcase them.
4. Avoid irrelevant photos. It’s tempting to upload pics of what you’re eating/drinking, some animal you see across the street, a funny bumper sticker, and other generally useless snapshots. While it may get you some initial attention, it clogs up your profile and diffuses your target’s focus. Although there is a delineation between ‘Photos of You’ and ‘Photos’, the latter is still looked at. During my last purge, I noticed almost 1/3 of my shots were such offenders.
5. Filter out old photos as time goes on. While history may be cool to you, few girls care for what you used to be like. And because you’re becoming more interesting with each passing year (or should be), the past should appear less intriguing by comparison. Don’t remove all photos, but limit their number to only the best, a sort of year-in-review. As you’re scrolling from top to bottom, each preceding year should have progressively less material.
6. Be congruent with your persona. As you’re telling your story, you still want to display consistency. If you’re the douchebag meathead with giant biceps who never smiles, then show off your giant biceps and don’t smile. If you’re the punk rock guitarist who only drinks local craft beers and can’t wait to cover every inch of skin with ink, wear it proud. Whatever your spiel, be consistent.
7. Show occasional contrast. Although you are putting your persona on display, calculated contrast can work greatly in your favor if used in moderation. This stuff is chick crack. If you’re Mr. Tough Guy in all situations, a sprinkle of you smiling while playing with animals or hanging out with family shows you might have a soul. And what woman can resist playing Captain Save ‘A Player? A good opportunity for a blast from the past is ‘Throwback Thursday’. Years ago I went through a punk rock phase where I played the part to a tee. Although it was just that – a phase – a couple photos from the ‘old life’ instantly appealed to the subset of nubile rebels.
8. Subtle social proof. Not only should the focus be primarily on you, but others need to be deferring to, or at least not looking as cool as you. In any photo you decide to upload, put it through the ‘Spot The Alpha’ test: who’s the alpha in the photo? If it’s not you, toss it. Surrounding yourself with women in pics is great, but be careful that it doesn’t appear try-hard. This is a common mistake: arms around girls on either side, chin up to the ceiling, eyes half closed like you’re high. Also known as trying to look badass. Having attractive women around you is enough in itself. Bonus points if you look like it’s no big deal.
9. Experiment. You’ll notice a lack of how-to visuals. The reason is that it’s subjective. While certain baseline rules exist, a successful profile will be uniquely tailored to you. Show off your hobbies, show off your strengths, fake whatever you need to until it’s there, and hide your weaknesses. I’m shirtless in about 1/3 of my photos. Can everyone pull it off? Of course not, but in over a decade of consistent training I built a body I’m proud of and I display it whenever I can. It works for me.

This should be a good start. Let me know in the comments below if I missed anything or if you’d like more specifics. Although not always the best, you can get an idea of some usable shots from Hot Chicks with Douchebags. Use sparingly.

As promised, here’s a Facebook message exchange between yours truly and girl #49. Because it’s only success once you’ve sealed the deal, all instances of game reported here are precursors to such. It should be noted that any example of game is easy to take out of context as not all variables are accounted for, but within the context of messaging itself there are lessons to be learned. As you read this, take note of time stamps, frequency, content, punctuation, and other subtleties. Grammar remains intentionally uncorrected.

Normal font is me.

Italics is her.

Bold is commentary.

I sent her a friend request on Day 1. She accepted the same day and opened me with the following message:

Day 1

(12:48pm) Do i know you? Lol

Standard opener for a girl and I do this to them if they add me.

(12:49pm) don’t think so, but we can work on that

(12:53pm) an what made you friend me?

(12:58pm) Lol how did you find me on fb im curious

(1:01pm) random, and because of cute pic

Day 2

(5:29pm) Lol oh… thanks. You just go through fb an find people.. lol?

(11:52pm) Not particularly, but was the case with you I suppose. I’m down for a drink

Waited a few hours since she was late on responding the previous day. Also asked her out immediately so intentions are known.

Day 3

(12:44am) Lol i dont often drink a little wine every night thats it. I bet your a heavy drinker.

(12:49am) why do you say that

(1:12am) Lol your pics suggest your quite the partier. Am i assuming to much m

(11:37am) I’m not. I just have a bar so I can make whatever when I want

(12:35pm) Lol what like in ur house… ?

(12:41pm) yup

(1:38pm) Lol. What do you usually make?

(1:48pm) That’s the beauty of it, I can make whatever. I do have a few specialty drinks I made up though. Nice and strong

(1:49pm) Lol you made up… hm ill stick to my girly frozen drinks.

(10:25pm) ok?

Day 4

(12:34am) Well what did u make up? ? ? An i finally got around to looking a little more at your page. Lol you took a pic of all your liquor.. ha how much is left?

(12:50am) (Description of a drink I made up + nationality). I don’t keep empty bottles, so everything is left.

(1:12am) Lol oh id of never guess you were from (country). how long have you been in the states? An everything is left… geesh slacking on drinking arent ya?

(1:23am) Since I was a kid. And, I just need a drinking buddy

Bringing her back around with a subtle hint about getting drinks as conversation is getting off topic.

(1:24am) Lol id try but id be gone long before you.

(1:29am) We can do 2:1

(1:32am) Lol 3:1

(10:16am) Nah 2:1 I don’t drink as much as you think I do

(2:30pm) Lol ok im game

The acceptance, we have a date. Waited a little to respond.

(6:19pm) I can do Friday or Sunday

(7:33pm) Lol ok. Friday im working til ten so mayb after… sunday i have class at 8 am the next day

(10:48pm) (offers her phone number)

It then transitioned to texting about setting up the date.

It’s a fairly good indicator of interest (IOI) if a girl initiates a conversation with you even if it seems standoffish, a la ‘do I know you’. I also found that asking a girl for her number is unnecessary. If she’s interested, she’ll offer it because it’s quicker to text than swap messages and I’ve never had a girl agree to meet up without providing a phone number.

I know a lot of guys try to come up with witty things to say and while it does work in some cases, it’s context dependent and has to be congruent with your persona. I have a James Bond persona in that I don’t talk much, I’m fairly direct, don’t show much emotion, and although I can keep a meaningless conversation going, you won’t see me cracking jokes left and right. The point is – you have to find what works for you.

Let me know in the comments below if you have any questions or need additional context for future Facebook/text game posts.