One of the most common downfalls of relationships is a slow, methodical midsection expansion. Men and women alike get fat together. Unfortunately this effect is multiplied for women, as men are well over 90% visually oriented. While women still enjoy nice arms and flat abs, it’s men who quickly get a wandering eye once their significant other starts filling out.
In some regards, men are simple in their desires: if you’re hot, we want to bone you. If you’re hot, nurturing, can string a few sentences together, and not a total bitch, we’ll consider a relationship. However, the emphasis is always on hot. I’ve broken up with girls because they gained weight and despite continued hints, refused to change.
For men, it’s a slap in the face and a major sign of disrespect. All we ask is you stay as hot as reasonably possible. We won’t even leave you when you get older just because you’re older – as long as you stay in shape. Ironically enough, it’s men who have advanced surgical and cosmetic fields to a point where a 60+ year old woman can still be attractive if she does her part in staying slim and toned. We live in an age where there’s no excuse for getting fat and ugly.
A lot of women are realizing this and consequently get some work done as they approach 30. The most common procedure is breast augmentation, and so you’ll rarely see a sub-25 year old with fake knockers. It’s a way to stay competitive – and a great one at that. A nice rack does a great job of hiding a little belly fat – but only to a point. It’s also a subconscious boner inducer.
That said, because men are naturally proactive (leaders) and women are naturally reactive (followers), it’s important that you reinforce her attempts at looking sexy. Objectify as much as you want – she’ll love it. Tell her her ass looks good when she’s wearing those booty shorts you like, fondle her when she’s showing some cleavage, and hop in the shower with her when she comes back from the gym sweating and her abs look nice.
Do it randomly, whenever it hits your brain. A few nights ago my girlfriend and I went out. She had a new dress on and some sexy heels. The way she posed, the way it made her hips look, the pushup bra – all came together to form a mental image hard to forget. We were sitting at the pool the other day and I remembered it and told her ‘you looked really sexy in that dress’ – completely out of the blue. She lit up like Christmas and said ‘just wait until I drop 5lbs and get my abs completely flat’.
When a woman is unhappy with her body (who ever is?) and she’s still hot to you and you compliment her on it, if she cares about you – and herself – she’ll work even harder to look better. Making fun of her or putting her down will only make her more self-conscious and cause resentment, culminating in further weight gain and either a breakup or a miserable, sexless relationship completely devoid of any passion.
So what do you do when she is putting on weight? All the positive reinforcement in the world won’t help if she’s not taking it seriously, so a careful, covert, multi-step process of enlightenment is necessary for her to either take the hint and take action, or not – in which case you need to decide if a perpetually expanding girlfriend fits into your life plan.
- Checking out other thin hot girls for one second too long in her presence will often do the trick. You’ll get shit for it when it happens, but after some time alone she’ll analyze why you’re doing it and connect the dots. Then, if you’re the man she wants to be with, she’ll take the necessary steps without you asking. If you’ve tried this consistently over several weeks with no response, move on to step 2.
- Failing covert communication, have a talk about hitting the gym together, change the fridge contents, and frequent healthier restaurants. Assuming you practice what you preach, she’ll go along. If she’s constantly complaining about exercising, you need to ask yourself if you properly screened her as relationship material. If after several weeks she’s not at least on her way to building healthy habits and a slimmer waistline, it’s time for some calculated dread.
- There comes a point when you just say ‘fuck it’. If checking out slim girls, eating healthier, and attempting to drag her to the gym with you is like pulling teeth, the final alternative is withdrawal. If you’re not turned on by her, don’t give her much attention, and are entertaining thoughts of leaving, there’s no point in starting a conversation about it, but when she asks you what’s wrong – you tell her in as nice a way as possible. Something to the effect of ‘fitness is really important to me, and I want the woman I’m with to feel the same way. I’ve tried to make healthier changes for us, but it’s just not working, so I’m frustrated, that’s all.’ This is the last straw. If she doesn’t get on the train after a talk like that, there’s nothing else you can do. In addition, if she never asks you what’s wrong, she just doesn’t care and you have your answer.
- Leave. Telling a girl you’re with that she got fat – even if it’s true – will rarely work and if it does, the resulting contempt isn’t worth the trouble. A woman who lets herself go around her man is telegraphing that she doesn’t respect his greatest desire. And without respect, there can be no love.
So, compliment her when she goes out of her way to look hot for you, or even when she does something to turn you on. This good feeling will motivate her to look even better as a means of securing her relationship with you. It’s a win-win all around. Conversely, if this isn’t working, don’t hesitate in covertly communicating your disapproval. If after several progressive attempts there’s no change, it may be time to jump ship.