For men at least, the majority of emotionally charged decisions are sub-optimal at best, life altering at worst. Women naturally experience a wider gamut of emotions daily and make decisions based on them. From a pragmatic survival standpoint, there’s nothing wrong with this. Her hamster is a specific adaptation for dealing with tough situations. It drives men crazy, supersedes all laws, and will spin out of control if given the chance – but it works for her.
In contrast, men are poorly equipped to handle emotional highs and lows. We’re naturally more stable and prefer to rely on logic (or so we think) instead. Our hamster is there too – he just spins slower. But logic is not a virtue – it’s just our pragmatic survival method. From a purely biological standpoint, whoever secures the best and the most for DNA propagation wins, logic or rationalizations be damned.
So when men experience a high emotional deviation from the norm (99% of the time it’s a valley, not a peak), we often act in ways that don’t have the best outcomes. Unfortunately, unlike women our low points take longer to get over and that can cause an entire day/week/month/year (?) to elapse prior to getting back to business as usual.
It’s not good for anyone. The first step, then, is to force yourself, yes force, to not react immediately to everything. Even a few minutes can make the difference between a complete misunderstanding of a situation and proper handling. Take a deep breath and think about it. Walk away if you have to. Do something else for awhile and let your brain process.
The second step is to literally sleep on it. For anything significant, you can still maintain the initiative by giving it a little time. In the heat of the moment, a woman can drive you insane with something she says or does. Sometimes it’s her just being a woman and nothing to worry about, other times action is required. If she crosses the line and a few hours won’t change the situation – wait. Ignore her for the duration if you have to.
Once you’ve slept on it and your nerves have calmed, you can make a more rational decision. Let’s use a worst-case scenario: you found out she cheated on you. The initial reaction would be going off on her and/or trying to start something with her interloper. A delayed – and much more beneficial – reaction would be to calmly tell her it’s over, gather anything of yours she has, cut off all contact, and never see or talk to her again. The first will only cause more heartache, drama, and drag out the inevitable. The latter will let you move on as quickly and efficiently as possible.
This is an extreme example, but similar run-ins, disagreements, and general bickering can be better handled if you just take a step back. You might say something to piss her off and instead of backtracking or apologizing right away – wait. It may be so insignificant that it’s all but forgotten the next day, especially if alcohol is involved.
It takes training and a large dose of restraint, but it will serve you well.