Incessant texting is a disease, but in today’s climate some amount is required for maximum pussy profit. In no particular order, here are some general tips for getting the most out of the least:
- Always text less than her. This applies to all aspects of your relationship and texting is no exception. You can subtly display your higher value in texting less than she texts you. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic difference and if you have something to say – say it – but in general you should be able to scroll through your history and see more messages on the left.
- Don’t immediately respond. In most cases, there’s no reason to do so. Unless you’re meeting up and handling logistics (‘I’m lost, how do I get to your place?’), anything that’s not a clear, time sensitive emergency can wait. The longer the better, especially in heated situations. If she blows up on you about something – regardless if you’re at fault – let it simmer awhile. Girls always do this, so why should you act any different? Furthermore, waiting a little and checking how quickly she responds is a great way to gauge interest.
- Respond at random times. Corollary to the above, text when you feel like it. If you’re up at 3am, send your reply then. Or wait a day. Or 3. Obfuscation and unpredictability are the tools of the sexy seducer, so give her hamster something to chew on. If she questions why it took so long or why you’re sending it so late, you’ve succeeded. Ignore or make something up. Or just say ’cause I felt like it’.
- Keep responses short. Be laconic – less is more. Always explain less than asked. Never give full disclosure. Remain ambiguous. Proficiency here will come with time, but by keeping it short you’re A) signaling your higher relative value, B) showing her you’re a busy guy and have things to do with your life, and C) maintaining a little mystery by keeping the initiative.
- Don’t emote. No smiley faces. Ever. No emotes of any kind. Leave the overt display of emotions for the birds. Show her you care through actions, not buttons. On the same note, don’t wear pink.
- Don’t worry about clever responses. One of the best things about texting is that it gives you time to think about what to say. Most guys – especially those who aren’t interacting with attractive women regularly – get tongue tied when thrown for a loop, or even when a girl is nice to look at it. Like everything else it takes practice to get over, but until such a time the text buffer will help. That said, you don’t need to rack your brain for a witty comeback. Things that seem clever to you will often be misunderstood, so keep it simple.
- Don’t drunk text/dial unless it’s a guaranteed lay that night. I don’t know how many times I have to repeat this, but under no circumstance are you to initiate phone/text conversations when drunk. A couple beers in, sure. Drunk, no. There’s no game you can spit, nothing you can do that will further your cause in any way. The only exception is if you’ve either scheduled a lay for that night and are simply following through (‘hey I’m on my way’) or she drunk texts you. Then attempt to seal the deal that night, but absolutely no talk of feelings or any of that crap – you’re going to regret it in the morning.
- Don’t use other text-like apps/media. Recently other MMS-ish services like WhatsApp have been popping up. What they offer in extras is a hindrance in disguise. WhatsApp is distinctly different with its ‘seen at x:xx’ feature, much like Facebook messaging. This is another variable and more variables = bad. You don’t want her to know you’ve seen her message but decided to ignore it for 3 days. That’s a given. By extension, unless you have a very compelling reason, stay off Twitter as well. Facebook is sufficient for maintaining contact with people over the years.
- Use texting as a date scheduler. Your primary – and only consistent – use for texting is to set dates. When girls have ‘called me out’ for not texting, I tell them ‘I don’t like it. I prefer face to face.’ It’s really that simple. Contrary to popular belief, you’re not bonding or making her like you any more by constantly asking how her day is going. Leave that for the beta orbiters. Be the alpha she fucks instead.
‘Text game’ is extremely limited. Although exact figures vary, all interpersonal communication is roughly 55% physiology (body language), 38% tone of voice, and 7% words. When you text, only 7% of the message gets through. Not only that, but if your goal is to actually hang out, perpetual messaging is a waste of time that won’t bring you any closer. If you have to do it, keep it sparse and stay focused on the goal: physical interaction.
Finally, a lot of text ‘situations’ are very context dependent and require case-by-case handling. If you have any exchanges you’d like analyzed, comment below or shoot me an email.