The one thing we choose to ignore on a daily basis is our own mortality. We all share the same fate. Not only that, but the reaper can come at any moment. Although freak accidents are rare, they do happen. A minor split second twitch of someone’s hand while driving can end your life. Think about that. The end of everything you know is all around you. Rather than disturb, it should provoke you to have some flippin fun.

This isn’t so much about ‘living every day like it’s your last’, but rather not deferring all enjoyment until a time you may not see. The key, then, is to strike an acceptable balance (to you) between hustling and making sacrifices now for greater rewards in an uncertain future and enjoying the day you were given.

In other words, avoid extremes and follow the 80-20 rule (80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes).

If we look at the qualities of the alpha male – looks, status, wealth, fame, game – we can begin to see obsessive patterns evolve. Take a look at yourself and realize when you’re diving too deep. It may be time to rebalance.

Looks

Having a great body is awesome. I’ve been seriously training for over a decade and have maintained sub-10% bodyfat with sufficient muscularity (well defined 6 pack) year round for over half that time along with nice arms. Girls go gaga over it, ‘looks matter’, and the health benefits are obvious, but I don’t compete. I’ll never compete. Why? Because it’s an extremity. The constant dieting, weighing of food, crankiness from lack of carbs, walking around with a gallon of water, hours doing exercises you hate, and often a complete sacrifice of certain foods and alcohol is too much.

To be fair, I have the utmost respect for competitors – especially the truly passionate – but it’s not for me. I get my protein, I train 5-6 days/week for about an hour, and I know my maintenance calories, but if I want to go out drinking or enjoy a pizza, I will. I might have to work a little extra later or wait before the next meal, but that’s an easy decision.

My point is, get your body right. It’ll take some time – usually a few years before it becomes a lifestyle and your metabolism is permanently altered – but getting too fixated on perfect proportions is unnecessary. You can still have a killer body and soak panties without sucking all the fun out of life. No one likes chicken and broccoli that much.

Wealth

Wealth generation is a very involved topic, so just picture the midlife crisis fat bald guy in his red Corvette. You don’t want that. What’s the use in having more money than you can spend if you’re socially inept, diabetic, unable to get any halfway attractive woman physically aroused, and likely to have a heart attack before 65?

By all means invest money now. You should have done it yesterday. It doesn’t even have to be an IRA; a simple 3 fund portfolio (total stock, bond, and international stock) that you contribute a least something to each paycheck will turn into a cash cow given enough time. Just set and forget. As long as you’re over 18 and have a bank account, there’s no excuse not to do it. 6-10% annual returns are common over a long enough timeline.

Be wary of your expenses, but there’s no need to give up everything just to save a buck. There’s a difference between never going out, or spending $2 on a pint at a local pub vs. $10 for a diluted Jack and Coke at a popular club. Want a ‘hot’ car? Get a used one, girls won’t know the difference and neither will most guys. Unless you have cash oozing out of your pores, a brand new whip is throwing away money, literally. It’s worth 25% less as soon as you drive it off the lot. Stuff like that.

Status/Fame

Status – a localized subset of fame – is a big deal. Being a contextual alpha will have girls fighting over which one gets to take you home, but it’s not the be all end all. If you have to give up too much to climb the ranks, perhaps it’s better to stay where you are while looking for another gig.

Bartending is a perfect example. It’s a fun job and you’re generally the high status figure (competition is the band, DJ, and any celebrity/athlete who walks in), but do you really want more than that? I’ve been offered bar manager positions, even hinted at general manager – and I respectfully declined. There’s no added benefit. The GM at my bar uses it as his playground to score girls (which male GM doesn’t?) and I still pull more tail because let’s face it – I’m cooler. As for the dough, he doesn’t make enough and this is only one of my (part time) jobs.

Chase the status, chase the fame, but keep things in perspective. The next level up may be too much sacrifice for too little benefit. If you’re not having fun in your current position, moving higher may not be the answer.

Game

The trap of game is the biggest trap of all, particularly for the newly unplugged. Once they see the power of symptoms (rather than core concepts) like eye contact, body language, kino, verbal teasing, cold-approach-day-game-number-grabbing, and the like, they go bananas. It’s fine for a little while – your brain needs to make the initial neural connections – but once that’s done take a chill pill.

You can still flirt and practice your social savvy on attractive women you interact with, but if you go out of your way too often, the extra notch or two won’t be worth the resulting time investment. Remember – if you focus on becoming more attractive, they’ll come to you anyway.

Do a cost analysis for everything in your life, find a balance, and enjoy what you have this very moment.

Things are changing much faster than most people realize. Those currently in their 20′s are likely to live long enough to encounter a technological singularity. In dating, the landscape is likewise entirely different from the previous generation. I see a lot of men and women seeking solutions to problems that didn’t exist just a few years ago.

One of the most common arguments against learning game and methodically molding yourself into an alpha goes something like this:

Men today are but a shell of what they used to be. Back in the day there was no PUA, they didn’t think in terms of ‘alpha’ and ‘beta’, they didn’t need instruction manuals, it was all instinctual. Your parents met and procreated and it was all so simple. Our ancestors didn’t worry about this stuff, they just got together and made babies.

The fallacy is comparing today’s world to the past. For over 99% of human history, people spent their entire lives never leaving a 10 mile radius. Men and women who had no interest in each other were paired off because there were no other options unless you were aristocracy or equivalent. In a small village where there were 3 available men and 3 available women and 2 of each married, the last 2 would be paired because it made sense. They could hate each other’s guts, be completely repulsed by each other, but they still had to take one for the team. Not anymore.

It wasn’t until the 15th century that Magellan completed the first circumnavigation of the Earth, and it wasn’t until the end of World War II that a global economy began to emerge. Think about it: your grandparents (maybe even your parents) grew up in a world that was not interdependent.

I spent my childhood in the 90′s before cell phones were invented. I thought the microwave was the coolest thing ever, and I didn’t touch my first computer until I was well into puberty. There was no texting, no social media, and the Information Age was just picking up. Compare that to today.

It wasn’t until 2005 that Neil Strauss’s ‘The Game’ brought forth the concept of the pickup artist as a reaction to the feminism/liberalism of the past few decades.

Texting only became prevalent in the new millennium. Facebook launched in 2004 and didn’t gain traction until a few years later. Twitter only became popular the past couple years.

With all of these changes, it’s no surprise that new problems with new solutions are required. The world today hates masculinity. More specifically, it hates betas and anyone (alpha or not) who overtly challenges gender equality and the feminine imperative. Written 3 years ago, here’s a recent timeline on the vilification of men.

This isn’t good for anyone. Each new adolescent boy is raised by a collective mother (including an effeminate ‘father’ – if he’s even around) and grows up lost, angry, and unable to figure out why everything has was taught about what women want is wrong. So very wrong. Each new adolescent girl is raised with an entitlement complex beyond her biological birthright and grows up believing the party never stops, that she’ll always have the world on a silver platter.

And so we have ‘Men Going Their Own Way’ (MGTOW) who whine incessantly about the unfairness of it all, and women who bemoan their inability to find a ‘nice jerk’ because all the nice guys (most guys) don’t excite them and all the jerks avoid commitment like the plague. With each passing year, the divide is growing. Fewer alphas are building larger harems and more betas are going home alone. While it’s a great time to be the former, it’s not particularly good for society at large.

Why do you suppose the video game industry is growing exponentially?

If you ever wonder why ‘stupid game tips’ on eye contact, approaching, body posture, agree & amplify, kino, aloofness, and the like exist, it’s because they must. They must because men are raised blind, deaf, and dumb to anything that would make them self aware of their own value. And there’s nothing more frightening – or more exciting – than a man who inherently knows what he’s worth.

That’s why I write.